dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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