Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize