Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
