Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
