i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
