Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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