Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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