if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Come share oat with me in your robe
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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