Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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