A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
