I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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