The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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