I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
