just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize