I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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