That's intense
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
