Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
