She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
