i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
