I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
