the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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