3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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