You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
