you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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