and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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