He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
