'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
