dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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