If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
