My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
