Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
