it wasn't lemon gatorade
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
