So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's blow job season.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
