: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
