Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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