school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
someone owes me an orgasm
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize