Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
