Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was born a porn star she said
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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