who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
