hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
