My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize