Is it normal to miss your booty call?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
