This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
