moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
