I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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