i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize