I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
