dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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