I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
