I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
