this boner is exhausting
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
