I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
smell my finger.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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