It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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