I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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