Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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