Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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