How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
