it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
