i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
