I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
