"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
