Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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