Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So here I am, sexting at work.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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