we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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